♥

The day my son died, it was my day off.  I remember being excited about having the whole day off to play outside with my son.  Devin loves to be outside... 

Because I was with him all day I didn’t think about the canal behind my house.

Devin and I had been outside all day.  I was seven months pregnant at the time, so the heat was starting to get to me.  I remembered that I had some sewing to do on a pair of shorts.  I went to the front door to ask my mom if she would come outside with Devin, who wasn't ready to come in yet.  My first instinct was to get Devin and bring him inside with me, but I didn’t.

I went inside and my mom had not gone outside yet.  I was watching Devin from the window and looked  down only long enough to thread the sewing needle.  It was not a matter of maybe 15 seconds that Devin was out of my sight then and he was gone.

I will always go with my first instinct from now on.

In a few seconds my son had run from one side of the yard to the other and he got to the gate that was left open.

I knew he had gotten out of the gate.  As soon as it sunk in that he was not in the yard anymore, I knew where he was.  I did not need to look in the yard anymore; I knew he had found his way to the water behind our house.

I remember cars stopping because they saw me; I was frantic and screaming in the middle of the road.

I screamed to neighbors to call 911.

I  was yelling to everyone that was in the street or in a car on the road that my son was in the water.  I could hardly get the words out,  I was choking with fear.

I remember a fire truck coming.  The paramedics were asking me if I knew were my son was, I just kept saying, “He is in the water, I know he is in the water!”  Neighbors began screaming, “I think he is downstream.”

So they went to find my little boy.  It seemed like forever that I went up and down that street calling his name.  It had been so long I just knew my son was gone and I would never see him alive again.

I could feel my heart trying to stop, I felt like I was dying.  I wondered how I would live without him.  My heart wouldn’t beat, I could not feel it.

Not being able to hold him, to hug him, to see him laugh.  My beautiful blued-eyed boy was gone.  I felt I was going to pass out.  I felt my heart was going to just stop beating.

I heard someone scream, “They found him downstream by the bridge”, and he was being taken to the ER.

I jumped in the neighbor’s car and went to the ER.  On the way I kept thinking, “How could I let this happen to him?  I am his mommy."  I was thinking about how far he was from home and that I was going to have to see my baby drowned when I got to the hospital.

I began praying harder than I ever have in my life and I felt God with me.

When I got to the hospital they took to him.  He was so little and so lifeless and so many people were working on him.

Everything was going in slow motion and all of the sudden a strange calm came over me…

I starting focusing on hope.  I had a strong feeling in my heart he was going to make it. 

I believed that the Lord would answer my prayers.  I could not believe anything else, I was afraid to. 

I began to pray for the doctors and nurses that were taking care of my son.  I prayed for wisdom and knowledge for them as they were trying to bring my son back to life.  I also prayed for forgiveness, for what I had let happen to my son.

Thirty minutes later the doctors got my son’s heartbeat ♥ back.  I felt like I got my heartbeat ♥ back too.  I knew he was far from alright, but I also felt that I had been given a second chance to love him. 

It was touch and go for the next several days, but the Lord is still working miracles for Devin and three months later he has not taken his healing hands off my beautiful son...  †